When working with conflict, in families or between two individuals, my goal is always to support both sides to understand the other completely. This may seem obvious, but it is actually quite difficult for the two parties in conflict to do. There is always the tendency to prematurely problem solve. It’s premature when the problem solving requires effort and there is still reaction coming from one or both sides. There is a pivotal moment in the process when both sides feel truly understood. The energy drops and connection is made.